So, I’ve alway done my best to do the opposite of that.  I go to my baby when they cry – and that way, they feel loved and listened to, rather than abandoned and afraid.  Here’s an article that discusses the reasons we really should attend to our babies needs – especially under 6 months old.  I agree implicitely and hope it helps you to understand about the “con of controlled crying“.

“every Trust in the UK has reduced or cut antenatal education. It is seen as an unnecessary expenditure – even though evidence shows good antenatal education improves pregnancy and birth outcomes including reducing the (expensive) intervention rate…”

I’ve just found this article from the Manchester Evening News about a Footballers Wife who used HypnoBirthing for her third baby – so it’s not all about being too posh/rich to push then! Enjoy the read! x

It’s an interesting read and rings true for me as I see this so often and have experienced it myself.  The pressure in our society these days to be the perfect parent is profound.  It’s also very damaging on a new parents’ ability to trust in their own parenting instincts and can lead to conflict in relationships and depression.  My advice:  Don’t compare yourself, your baby or anything you have/are/own to anyone else.  Trust in your instincts – they will always be right. x

Sarah our doula — Sophie our by no jetting guru—- Julie pregnancy yoga.

Here is our story.. Lots of love. Giedre and Kal-el…:)

Kal-el’s birth

It was Thursday nov 3rd. I felt a bit different all day and was thinking that
it may happen today, but still continued to work a bit. At 5pm I turned off the
computer and asked Atif if he knew how contractions felt like…. As I was
feeling something, just wasn’t sure if that was actual contractions. At 7pm
they became stronger and I realised… This is it!! In up to 24 hours we will
meet our baby. By 9pm they were every 5mins and Atif called Sarah, our
wonderful doula. She arrived at 11ish and I was in established labour by
then… Every 3 mins and going stronger. Every rush came with some animal
noises that were coming from a very primal place. I didn’t even know i had it
in me. We called Lewisham community midwives around 1am. Our midwife Sam has
arrived within an hour. She examined me and I was 5cm. Only I asked not to be
told my dilation so I wouldn’t be disappointed. At this point we moved
downstairs to the birthing pool. Ahh that was good. More deep breaths more
animal noises and By 6.30am I was fully dilated and ready to get the baby out.
Only we realised that our baby had passed meconium and quite a dark one. Sam
did not have equipment to suck it out of his lungs should the baby had
swallowed it. We decided to go to the hospital. contractions were strong and
frequent every 2 mins. In my mind I after every push I was expecting to hear
someone say ‘I can see baby’s head’, but 41/2 hours later I still hadn’t heard
it. Sam stayed with us until her shift was over and from there another
brilliant midwife Louann took over. Doctors started coming in and offering
everything from monitoring to synthetic oxitocin as my labour slowed down by
then. I realised that something needs to be done as this baby likes it inside
too much. I asked for a female doctor to come and explain our options. By then
I was in tears mourning my natural birth .. I took with me both Atif and
Sarah… We all were crying and I was still pushing and still hoping for that
magic sentence… ‘I can see baby’s head’. Dr. Bilett arrived with a team of
female staff. She was super professional and super understanding. She read the
birth plan and took everything that still can be achieved on board. Baby’s head
was engaged but the body was tilted to the right side, that’s why he wasn’t
coming. After a bit of help our little baby boy Kal-el was out at 11.57am. Just
in time for lunch!!:)

I wouldn’t have been able to deal with the birth as well as I did without the
support of my brilliant husband Atif and our fantastic doula Sarah. All I can
say I am happy to have been born a woman, birthing is amazing!!!!!

Here is Iris Katharine Mash, born at 3.15am on 17th November, 7lbs 11 and delivered at the Home from Home birth centre at St
Thomas’s without intervention and with gas & air only Hypnobirthing techniques were fantastically useful – I was doing surge breathing throughout Wednesday evening and as we were driving up the Old Kent Road, and I found the balloon visualisation particularly helpful, to the extent that when the contractions were getting really strong at the hospital I was bellowing ‘ballooooooon!’ at the top of my voice! Things sped up quite alarmingly after that (I went from 2cm to 10 in less than 2 hrs) and the pressure was so intense that at that point I was sitting on the loo and wailing like a banshee, and no amount of techniques would have been any use… But then they got me onto the bed, kneeling and leaning forward, and gave me the gas & air, and I was able to concentrate on the birth breathing. That bit was really exciting as I knew she was finally coming out. They put her on me straight away and she latched on immediately – hurrah! Then I had to remind myself of the J-breaths again to get the placenta out but with a bit of gas & air that all worked fine. The mouthpiece itself was as useful as the stuff that was coming out of it, as it made me focus on breathing rather than pushing. I had a small tear but didn’t need stitches – thank goodness for the perineal massage (which I’d done daily for 7 weeks…) Jeremy was brilliant throughout: the fact that he had been to all your classes and could remind me of everything at the right time was so helpful.

So… Thank You!!

I have been meaning to email you since Thursday but simply haven’t been capable – we have had quite a hard few days as we learn how
to do it all. But I think we are starting to get the hang of it – at least I hope so!! And I am still using the calm breathing technique to get to sleep at
weird times of day.

Apologies if this is too much information but I thought it might be helpful to have anecdotes!

Thanks again,

Georgia, Jeremy and Iris xxx

I’d recommend Sophie’s Hypnobirthing course in a heartbeat to any first time parents (and any parents who had previously had a negative experience with other forms of childbirth).

From the moment we started the course Sophie made sure we were put at our ease and were sent on a journey from trepidation to actively looking forward to the birth of our daughter – not just her arrival, we were looking forward to the act of childbirth itself. We found the sessions themselves really informative,enjoyable and relaxing. I’d never done any relaxation or self hypnosis techniques before, but I found it very natural and comfortable and although they were focused on pregnancy and childbirth, the techniques are actually something that I have easily translated into my everyday life and have used on  a number of occasions since.

During the course, the techniques we practised at home helped us to bond with our unborn child and managed to bring us even closer to each other. We really started to feel like a team with regards to the birthing process and it meant that it gave me a much more active role in the birthing process and it gave my wife full confidence in herself and in me that I would be there for her doing what was needed and protecting her throughout.

When it came to the actual day of birthing, Nats was able to stay really relaxed throughout the early stages of labour, possibly we were too relaxed as Nats decided that we needed to go shopping!

We actually managed to complete nearly all of the early stages of labour at home and in fact possibly stayed at home too long. When we first called the birthing centre they told my wife that she didn’t sound like she was in enough pain so she couldn’t be ready to come in yet. When we eventually got there Nats was fully dilated and 2 hours after that call our daughter was born. Having seen some of the videos, I wouldn’t say that our hypnobirthing was quite as serene as some, but the fact is that Nats went through the entire labour completely naturally without any pain relief and she says that at no point did she consider asking for any. That isn’t because it was pain free, but because the relaxation and visualisation techniques allowed her to maximise the rest periods between contractions and so be prepared and able to manage any pain during the contractions. She was so pleased that she managed to have the birth that she wanted and if there is a next time then the experience we had has made us want to have the next birth at home.

We will always be grateful to Sophie for being such a great teacher and giving us the tools to have the birth we wanted

Watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcEmuUrdMGU